There was a time when I thought rest was weakness. Something to apologize for. Something to earn. But my body has been whispering to me for years — sometimes begging (without me realizing it) — to stop treating exhaustion like a personality trait. Like it's a badge of honor I should proudly wear.
Now I know better. Rest isn’t lazy. It’s a language. It’s how a nervous system in recovery finally gets to speak, to breathe, to heal. And every time I let myself slow down, I’m not “falling behind.” I’m giving my body a chance to find me again. And that’s what real strength feels like now — not pushing harder, but letting my own hands hold me for once.
The Lie We Learned About Rest
As a stay-at-home mom, I feel like the world demands more from me because I stay home most days. Like I have "all the time in the world" to do manage my home, take care of my child, etc. Stay-at-home moms shouldn't be lazy. They shouldn't have slow mornings or naps.
I watched this series before about modern gypsies and how the wives are expected to stay home and just keep the house spotless, sparkling even. The husband works the whole day and when he comes home, he expects a warm, home cooked meal, and a beautiful, relaxed wife. Those gypsy women spend a lot of time and money grooming themselves. They said that it was expected of them.
That's not the reality of a lot of stay-at-home moms, though. As a mom, have you ever wished to just stay at home, take care of the kids, manage the household, and beautify yourself after? It sounds like a dream, no? Sometimes I think about that, too. What if my life was like that. But then I'd think about my books, my blogs (I have 3, in case you didn't know), my retail business, my crafts business, and all my other side projects that keep me busy and happy. And I realize, nope. That's not the life for me.
My work keeps me happy, but sometimes I spiral. I forget that work should be balanced with rest. Yin and yang. That's how my world should exist. Back then, when I didn't work, even if it's because I was sick or not feeling well, I'd think that I was useless. I thought that "I'm only valuable when I'm productive."
Balance isn’t a luxury. It’s survival wrapped in silk — a choice to stop burning out just to prove my worth.
What a Nervous System in Recovery Feels Like
When I kept working myself to the bone, I experienced fatigue, flares, brain fog, blurry eyes, and emotional overload. But I kept pushing because I needed to be productive. And I was scared that if I stop for a moment, I won't be able to go back to my rhythm. That's the thing with ADHD. When I sit down and say, watch Netflix, I have a hard time going back to my work. I'd usually just watch for the rest of the afternoon until early evening. Then at around 11 pm or midnight, I'd feel guilty and try to get some work done as fast as possible.
But with this second wind comes the inevitable - working until I finish the task, which leads to sleeping in the wee hours of the morning. Which leads to? A groggy feeling the next day when I wake up. Add to that, the guilt that I "overslept" even though I only had 5-6 hours of sleep.
I am a health, wellness, life, and body healing coach. I can recommend a lot of things to my clients on how to help their bodies heal, but the thing is, I kept forgetting to coach myself!
I think the reason why I forgot to coach myself is because I was programmed for so long to keep hustling. My body is quietly crying out for help and I wasn't listening. Well, now I am.
The truth? My body was never my enemy. I was just too busy trying to outrun her whispers to realize she’s been my fiercest ally all along.
Now that I'm resting, I don't get as much flares anymore. When I do, it's not as bad as before. I don't have brain fog. My eyes are not blurry anymore. I don't nap as often anymore. And my stress levels are down. And, this is an added bonus - I'm more productive!
Rest as Medicine
I used to think medicine came in bottles, stamped with labels and warnings. Now I know some of the strongest medicine is a closed laptop, a locked door, and permission to do nothing.
Time and time again, I've proven that rest is medicine. The first time I've proven this was when I had polymyositis and fibromyalgia. There was a time when the doctor wanted to give me methotrexate. This is a potent chemo drug. He told me that I might not be able to get pregnant for several years. I already had a very little chance of getting pregnant with all these conditions and now you're telling me that chance is going to get smaller? I said no and that we should try it my way.
I asked my boss if I could work from home for a month. (Thank God for foreign, open-minded bosses!). I told him I needed to rest and recover. The work will be done. I will submit it daily. I was the Corp Comm Manager back then for an ad agency. I did a lot of writing.
During this time, I didn't have the knowledge and training about food, natural medicines, natural healing, etc. that I have now. I simply went with my gut. I slept a lot, ate a lot. It didn't even matter what kind of food I was eating. I did eat a lot of fruits, vegetables, and good protein back then. I also exercised.
At the end of the month, I went back to my doctor and my test results came out better! He tapered the prednisone down further.
This was physical proof that rest is healing. This is just one of my proofs. I have many. And sometimes, all your body needs is to just sleep or stay on the couch and watch something funny to heal.
My Different Kinds of Rest
Some days, my nervous system asks for sleep. Other days, it asks for color on my nails. Both are valid, both are healing. I've learned how to listen to my body's whispers of what kind of rest she needs.
Shopping
I've written before that one of my doctors told me to spend my days in the mall and get lost window shopping. What I didn't tell you was that he also mentioned to go shopping. It was his way of easing my body into activity. I was very weak back then. I remember spending days sleeping, only waking up for meals. To get my strength back, my mom would take me to a favorite restaurant like Cafe Elysee, just to eat lunch and then we would go back home. I would be so tired that I slept until it was time to wake up for dinner.
Weight training and cardio carrying our shopping tote. It was even heavier with yesterday's curated purchases from Watsons and Miniso!
The doctor said that sure, shopping is expensive, but at least it doesn't have any side effects unlike drugs. And it beats getting stuck in the hospital. Plus it has a lot of benefits:
- Cardio (all that walking around a huge mall. 10k steps? Done.)
- Strength training (just picture carrying all those bags)
- Dopamine hits (great for ADHDs like me),
- Creative expression (flex your high-quality, luxe taste)
- Aesthetic pleasure (you should see me when I find an accessory I love)
- Entertainment (I get entertained by looking at the new offerings of my favorite brands and looking at what others are buying. Plus the sights, sounds, and smells that a posh mall (Hello, Mitsukoshi and Rustans!) offer is peak entertainment for me)
- Relaxation and escape (I anticipate and imagine how I'd look or style the outfits and accessories I buy. I imagine how a new kitchen tool will make my life easier)
- Confidence Booster (Power dressing. Need I say more?)
Painting my nails
I have this habit of painting my nails while writing for my blog. Like right now. I got a couple of bottles of nail polish in gorgeous shades yesterday from Miniso. And I've been excited to use them. I said that I will apply them later, but couldn't wait anymore! 😁
There’s something soothing about brushing color onto bare nails, watching them turn into tiny polished jewels — proof that beauty is rest, too.
If you’ve forgotten what slow joy feels like, start small. Pick a shade that makes your heart leap and give your hands a moment of love.
Applying a sheet mask
Oh, the simple act of wearing a sheet mask on my face instantly relaxes my nervous system. It feels like im instantly transported to a spa. I apply a sheet mask and close my eyes or do other self-care rituals like applying oil on my hair or cuticles.
Spritzing a hydrating toner in the middle of the day
I'm in an airconditioned room the whole day so my skin tends to be dry. When I'm all tired from writing, I stand up, get one of my spray bottles and spritz the fatigue away. I take a deep breath, release it slowly, and go back to writing.
Eating slowly, mindfully, and enjoying my food even if it's just McDonald's
Did you know that digestion takes up a lot of energy? This is why people end up in a food coma after feasting. The body needs to allocate a lot of energy to digest all that food that's why it tells you to shut down all other activities.
The best way to help your body digest is to eat slowly. Parents tell us to chew our food well. It prevents choking, but also helps our digestive system. When we digest food well, our gut becomes healthy and it shows on our skin.
Journaling and Making Art
You don't have to be a writer to journal. Just write down whatever you feel and whatever comes to mind. It's okay if you write, "I don't know what to write." Keep writing that and I guarantee that something will pop up. It could be, "I'm bored. Why am I bored? What can I do to stop being bored?" or "I'm sick. Why am I feeling this way? What specific part is painful?" or "I'm stuck. What should I do with my life?" Just let the words flow. After writing, read what you've written. You'd be surprised with the insights you'll discover and how light your mind and body feel after releasing all that weight from your shoulders.
You don't have to be an artist to make art. There are different types of artists. You might not excel in drawing, but you could be an excellent doodler. Or you might excel at designing.
I'm not good at drawing. I used to be, but didn't pursue it. But I love putting stuff together, doodling, or just applying color to a blank page. It's not museum material, but I'm happy playing around with stickers and color and different art media. It's for my own pleasure, and not anyone else's. And that gives me rest.
Applying hand cream
I consider giving love to just one part of my body rest. Like my hands that need a lot of love. They are constantly working for me - typing, cooking, doing the dishes, writing (with a pen), carrying things, and more.
There was a time when I had very dry, peeling, bleeding hands because I neglected them and worked them off like they were my slaves. They hurt when they get wet. When I woke up from my fog and chose my soft, luxe life, I started giving my hands some love, and rest.
Just look at all those hand creams I bought yesterday!
These are investments for my hands
Going on a date with my son
I can't tell you how much rest our minds and bodies get when we go out on dates. It's a reset. We can eat wherever we want. We laugh a lot. My son and I have a lot of private jokes. We don't even need to say a lot and we already get what the other is saying. Laughter is a form of release and rest.
Rest doesn’t always look like vacations or spa days. Sometimes it’s tiny rebellions — saying no, leaving dishes in the sink, breathing like you mean it.
Micro-Moments of True Rest
If I can't do any of the above, I give myself micro-moments of true rest:
- Turning off the noise for 10 minutes
- Telling my son to stop talking to me for 10 minutes (He's ADHD, too and talks non-stop)
- Breathing deep over my morning pre-breakfast snack
- Allowing myself to do nothing for 15 minutes without shame
An Exhale and a Thank You
Every time I rest now, I imagine my nervous system exhaling like a long-lost friend finally heard. I imagine my body saying, “Thank you for listening this time.”
I believe that my body is intelligent. She was designed by the Master Engineer Himself, in His image. So she can heal herself if given the right support and the right environment.
Rest isn’t something to deserve or justify. It’s how we tell our bodies they’re safe, loved, and no longer under attack. And when you finally speak that language fluently, the world feels softer, your mind clearer, your glow undeniable.
Resting is not the opposite of ambition. It’s the foundation of every dream I’m building now — a soft throne for my own quiet power.
Maybe today, you don’t need another task or another cup of coffee. Maybe you just need a little space to breathe — to let your body know it can finally stop fighting and start healing.
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