Every Layer Tells a Story: Layering Clothes Like Layers of Myself

There’s a kind of armor that doesn’t clang, doesn’t make noise, doesn’t ask permission to exist. It drapes over you softly, like a quiet declaration that you belong to yourself. Today, I wore layers—not just fabric over skin, but years of living, healing, reclaiming. There was a time they told me how to look, how to shrink, how to take up less space. They wanted me fragile, easy to control, a reflection of their own insecurities. But they forgot—queens may bend in the storm, but they do not break. My body isn’t an apology. It’s a testament.

My body has weathered storms, carried life, held me upright through every sleepless night. And now, it stands, grounded and unapologetic, wrapped in softness that no one can strip away.

The Weight of Their Words

I have been underweight my whole single life. I was 98 pounds. I was first degree malnourished. I can't seem to gain weight. I always got comments like, "you're too thin!" Even after giving birth, I was too thin. Some people thought that I was so lucky. Little did they know that it took a long time for my bleeding to stop after giving birth. I battled 2 autoimmune diseases in my 20s. It was a miracle that I got pregnant. 

Then the third autoimmune came - chronic idiopathic urticaria. I dropped to 70 pounds because I was terrified to eat. I ate to survive, but not to thrive, not to live life the way it should be lived. 

Whenever friends and acquaintances saw me, they said that I was too thin. I got this every single time I saw them. Didn't matter who or where or when. This is the first thing they'd say. It bothered me so much that I ate..and ate.. and ate. 

Then one day they saw me and commented, "you're very fat now!" In my head, I was going, "Wait, what? You said I was too thin and now I'm too fat??" This was an ongoing thing. And then it hit me - they gaslighted me so that I'd gain weight and become overweight like them, but I didn't become overweight. Just gained a layer. So now, they're body shaming me so that I'd get insecure again! 

It took me years to realize this: their words were never a mirror, only a leash they wanted me to wear.

 “It wasn’t care. It was control disguised as concern. A reminder that they only liked me when I was a mirror of them.”

It was never about my health or happiness. It was about their comfort with me looking a certain way. 

98 lbs vs. Now: My True Body

I'm proud to say that I'm not 98 pounds anymore. And I never want to be like that again. I'm over 110 pounds, if I remember correctly. And I'm happy with that. My number one reason? I don't get easily get blown by the wind anymore. 

An incident happened in BGC when my son was a toddler. A very strong wind blew and it pushed me back while I was holding him. I screamed for my husband to anchor me. I was scared! What if it was just my son and I at that time? We were out on the street, cars on our right. And the wind just suddenly blew hard. My husband covered us. We had to wait until the wind died down to start walking again. I'll never forget that moment. 

Fast forward to my weight now. One time, my son and I were walking to piano class when a strong wind blew. This time, I didn't flinch. My son held on to me. He said that the wind was too strong. I told him to hold onto my arm. I was proud that day. Proud that I had the necessary weight to anchor myself and protect my son. 

 “I am no longer a wisp that vanishes in a breeze. My son anchors to me, and I to myself.”

I feel so grounded and so strong now in my current body.  Strength isn’t in the scale’s number—it’s in knowing I can hold my son’s hand and not be swept away by winds or whispers.

Some say that you get lethargic easily with a heavier body. But for me, for some reason, I have more energy now. I rarely need afternoon naps. 

I won't lie. There was a time when I felt bad when I kept hearing that I was so fat. But after I've accepted the new me, it felt like reclaiming my skin, my softness, my power. 

Today's Layers

We had a full day today. Of course, I had to prep my skin and face before going out. 

Here's today's eye makeup:

It's a little blurry for some reason. I couldn't make it clearer than that.

Eyeshadows: NARS Nouveau Monde, MAC Mineralize and Purple Haze 

Liner: BYS

Mascara: Clio Kill Lash

Blush: Estee Lauder

Bronzer and Highlighter: BYS

Lipstick and Gloss: MAC and Anastasia 

 Layers of Clothes, Layers of Healing

I felt "fat" today. And that's because I'm bloated. Lady Flo is arriving soon. I was talking to my friend last night about what to wear today and I decided to don my loose heather green shirt and layer it with a plum strappy top underneath to hide all that extra water weight.

My skin was a little itchy from a histamine flare, my tummy was bloated, but I had mom duties that needed to be done

These layers of clothes remind me of the layers of myself that I've had to rebuild over the course of these few months. And the parts of myself I've had to hide until I decided that I don't want to be that woman anymore. Every layer I put on now isn’t to hide—it's my armor of choice, stitched with defiance and stitched with love

 

 “Every button fastened, every drape of fabric was a promise: I am mine before I am anyone else’s to judge.”

Century City Moments 

After class, I thought we'd visit Century City Mall. It's been a while since we last visited. 

There were lots of Korean stores now! There's even a Korean grocery beside The Marketplace. 

There was also a new arcade where they had these Build-A-Bear type area. I believe Mumuso Indonesia has this feature as well. 

I saw this shop, Banana Sisters, that sells socks. I'm not familiar with this brand. Any experiences? Share in the comments.

Miniso

Get ready for a lot of photos! I found so many cute things at Miniso!

I love those organizers! 

For when you're having a picnic or party! 

Miniso has a ton of plushies! And they're categorized! 

Found these cute Jurassic Park pens that my godsons will love! Should I start shopping for Christmas gifts? 

There are 3 designs to choose from, and yes, Blue was there! 

I found these huge My Little Pony markers. I love markers! I use them to write notes for blogging, instead of pens. 

 They also have huge Snoopy pens and in the back, I found some huge Barbie pens, too! 

Aside from BTS, they now have BLACKPINK merch, too. 

The hand creams in this branch! I took a long time here, looking at each of them. 

You know how obsessed I am with hand creams because of my very dry skin. They're great to gift as well! Just look at those in the pink and orange packs! 

I was curious about the Belle Sheet Mask, but decided to pass as I still have a lot of masks to go through. It only came in a pack. 

Finally! I found nail polish in shades that I like! 

I've been scouring the beauty stores for 2 weeks now for some nail polish, but to no avail. 

That set came home with me

That mini phone is a compact mirror! How creative! 

I know my goddaughters would love these Sanrio totes and bags

Miniso has definitely leveled up their bag game! I think I'll buy one next time. 

How cute is this Barbie case?

They have a new makeup line, and it has its own gondola! Ayessa, the very helpful Glow Guide at Miniso today introduced me to this new line.

 I know that Miniso sells makeup but not this chic-looking! It looks like they leveled up their game! Those on the wall are the latest release. It's called The Ballerina line. 

They have lip products of all sorts! 

And palettes, too!

The Minimalist is their new line of makeup that extends to nail polish. 

I haven't tried Miniso makeup so I got one of these cream blushes. I'm a big fan of their makeup brushes, though. But, I didn't find anything I liked earlier. 

I also talked to another Glow Guide, Hazel, and she learned that I was a former makeup artist and health, wellness, and natural healing coach, and asked me questions about skincare and makeup. It seems anti-aging is a real issue among ladies 30 and above. 

While I was shopping, I heard someone bang on the piano over and over. I thought there was a toy piano in-store, but the sound was too loud. My son went to me and said, "Mom, some kid piano raged by banging on the keys. He desecrated the piano. Let me rectify that." Then he went to the piano and played Minuet in G, serenading the diners at Mary Grace Cafe. 😁

I wasn't able to take photos or a full video as I was holding a shopping basket and had to leave it at the counter to follow him. He was already playing when I got there. 

My Curated Purchases from Miniso

I couldn't resist the gigantic marker! 

After his mini impromptu concerto, we went to Watsons.

Watsons

The brand that greeted me when I entered? BYS! I swear, ladies, I'm not sponsored by the brand. You will know when a brand sponsors me. I've always been transparent about that in all my years blogging. 

I want to try their mascaras next, when I finish my Clio Kill Lash

Look at this everyday palette that's super affordable at only $5! 

The Wicked nails are pretty

They even have the supplements here and the full line of skincare

I had a quick chat with our BYS Glow Guide of the day, Roann, and we talked about BYS being hypoallergenic. I told her about my experiences with the product and about my visit at their store in SM Makati.  

I showed her photos from my blog, too. I told her that a lot of customers don't believe Ceje and the girls when they say that their products are hypoallergenic. She took one product, flipped and said, it's even printed here! 

There's one thing that she said about other brands that stuck to me, for example, being semi-permanent on the face. She said that's because they're full of chemicals, of course they wouldn't budge! But if you want more skin-friendly ingredients, try BYS. 

My Curated Purchases from Watsons

After our Watsons visit, we went to the Korean mart to buy some danmuji. My son didn't find any restaurant he liked, so we headed home. 

I savored the day despite bloating, tiredness, and noise. I didn't get much sleep today again as I woke up itching from a histamine flare. 

 “Even on bloated days, life can still feel like silk and honey when you let yourself be.”

Our view while waiting for our Grab

Final Layer

This body is no mistake, no accident, no subject for their whispered judgments. It is a cathedral of survival and love, a home that’s been rebuilt brick by brick, layer by layer. I dress it slowly now, intentionally, honoring every curve and scar. I will not peel myself down to fit their comfort anymore. I will only ever layer myself up—with fabric, with joy, with tenderness, with glitter, with power—until there is no space left for their noise, only my glow. 

This body is not up for debate. It is mine. It is holy. And tonight, it glows louder than their silence ever could.