The Beauty of Asynchronous Living: Rest While the World Catches Up

 

I’ve never been one to follow the clock just because someone says I should. I’m a night owl — and so is my son — and we function best when we honor that. There’s this popular belief that you have to be asleep by 11 PM or your body won’t repair itself. But what if your mind and body come alive after midnight? What if your deepest work, your clearest thinking, and your most creative ideas happen when the rest of the world is asleep?

The quiet hours aren’t a flaw in your rhythm — they’re your private canvas, where life’s richest thoughts and most decadent ideas are painted in peace.

Luxe Starts with Listening to Your Body

I used to force myself to wake up before 9 am. Before the pandemic, I woke up at 6:30 am because I had to do a lot of things before my husband left for the office. I also had to make sure that breakfast was done before my son woke up. Then, I had to prepare the materials for the day's homeschool lessons. I may be a stay-at-home mom, but my life back then was quite hectic. 

Then the pandemic happened and suddenly, the world slowed down. I didn't need to wake up very early anymore to get things done as everyone was at home. It's important to note that I've always been a night owl. It's not because of the pandemic. I've always had a hard time sleeping early because I get a second wind at night, and all my best ideas pop up when the outside world is quiet. 

The world slowing down was the perfect nudge for me to fully embrace my night owl chronotype (or wolf-dolphin hybrid). And when I did, magic happened. 

Luxury isn’t always silk sheets or candlelit baths — sometimes it’s the rare gift of living in sync with your own pulse, even when the world moves differently.

Over the years, I gently embraced my soft life. I gave up doing a few things in the morning. I stopped being a "yes person." My soft life is about creating a rhythm that feels indulgent for me but still sustainable. That means not being rushed, but still accomplishing things. 

My son has always been a night owl, too. He is wired like that because of his IQ. Most high-IQ people are night owls. The soft life for us means honoring our natural clock instead of forcing 10 pm lights-out. 

I've always been a big believer of health and wellness being a custom tailored approach. What works for one doesn't always work for another. I don't copy someone else's schedule...or the world's schedule for that matter. I sync with my own, with my body's schedule. 

That’s where the true soft life lives — in the unapologetic confidence that your timing is not just valid, it’s perfect for you.

The Myth of the “Perfect” Bedtime

Most articles push early nights, but research shows the real key is consistency, and not conforming to lark hours. For this, I go with my chronotype, not society's default. 

For me, high quality sleep is better than a socially approved bedtime. I don't want to force myself to go to bed at 11 pm and keep tossing and turning for 2 hours then wake up in the middle of the night because I didn't decompress correctly.

I choose the sleep that nourishes me, not the one that wins society’s gold star — because my wellness isn’t a performance.

Redefining Consistency for Night Owls

My regular sleep schedule is 1:30 am and I wake up between 9 to 10 am. It's not what the world deems regular, but it's my regular. My sleep schedule gets disrupted if I'm too wired, too excited about an idea, or if I took a nap earlier in the day or night. We'll talk about naps later. 

I used to be stressed and anxious when I see the time is 1 am or 1:30 am and I'm still up and hyper. But now, even if the clock says "late", my body says "this is when I thrive." Being ADHD and a creative, I have to give my mind and body time to decompress before sleeping, otherwise I'll get jolted awake by hypnic jerks and I hate those.

Naps 

Now let's talk about naps. Naps are a regular part of my life from childhood until now. I've been a very sickly child up to my 20s, so I needed constant periods of rest during the day, and even early evening. Now that I'm healing my gut and skin, I find naps to be an important part of my day. 

I nap when my body asks for it - whether at 2 pm, 5 pm, or even 8 pm - because I honor my sleep cues without guilt. 

Rest, in my world, is not a reward. It’s a right — one I claim without hesitation.

Asynchronous Living as a Soft Life Strategy

When the world is hustling at 8 am, I'm still sound asleep, under my comforter. I let the morning rush pass me by. I wake up when my body and mind say that they've had enough rest and it's time to start a new day. 

I do my morning rituals and don't rush to prepare breakfast anymore. Since my son is a night owl, too, I have ample time to take care of myself first before anyone else. 

I do some light chores, take a shower and do my beauty rituals such as applying lotion, layer moisturizers, and now, healing my skin. 

Morning Beauty Rituals could be a combination of some of the products above or more that are not in the photo. 

When I'm satisfied with how I took care of myself, I start tackling heavier chores. Breakfast could be anywhere between 11 am and 2 pm. I don't eat breakfast right away. So does my son. We wait until our digestive system is ready to accept food. Otherwise, we would get nauseated. We don't force food into our system. We wait for the subtle signals that our bodies are ready to accept food. 

Breakfast can be anywhere from 11 am to 2 pm. That's brunch for most people, but we do eat 3x a day on most days, with lunch being the heaviest meal and a light snack at night, which serves as our dinner. 

After a good breakfast, I start to work on my projects and my blog. I work when my mind is sharpest (often around 2 pm until late at night), and rest when my energy dips. Sometimes, when I've had too much physical activity, I would take a nap before I write. 

This freedom is my ultimate luxe - the world adjusts to me, not the other way around. There’s nothing richer than building a life that bends to your flow, where each day feels like it was custom-designed for you.

The Power of Flexible Rest

Sometimes I wake up at 11 am. And that's okay. My life doesn't collapse. I don't rush when this happens. I actually stop looking at the clock when I wake up too late. Time is my servant. I own my hours — they don’t own me. That’s where real abundance begins.

I will sleep until I get my 7 to 9 hours (sometimes 10, when I was exhausted or did some healing protocol the day before). When I harnessed the power of flexible rest, I became healthier, calmer, and far more productive. 

When I was chasing the clock, I couldn't finish all the tasks on my list for the day. I couldn't understand why. I was rushing everything. I was moving fast but there wasn't enough time! Now that I've slowed down, I not only finish all the tasks on my list, I finish more and produce better results.  

I've learned to listen to my body's signals instead of taking cues from external clocks. I do what's best for my mental health and body at any given time. 

Even applying makeup has become a sort of rest and therapy for me. When I became a mom, applying makeup was 10 minutes flat. Now it takes me an hour to get ready, and that's okay too. 

Energy Management Over Time Management

Over the years, I've determined when I have energy highs and lows and I align my tasks to those times. I do the bulk of my chores in the morning where I am physically strong. I do my mental work in the afternoon because that's when I'm mentally strong and capable. 

Chores are muscle memory tasks, so I can reserve brain power for writing and other activities that require more brain cells even if I do those first. It's also best for me to get these things out of the way so that I can focus on writing. Being ADHD, my brain works differently than neurotypical brains. My brain craves the dopamine hits, so I finish the easiest tasks first and ride that high until I accomplish all tasks. My strategy improves both my work quality and my well-being. 

Making custom orders require both physical and mental energy, so I make sure to finish all chores the day before I tackle design projects like these. These are notepads that my teacher friend ordered. She orders a bunch of paper products at the start of a new school year. 

Energy is the true currency of the soft life, and I spend mine where it yields beauty, joy, and impact.

The Asynchronous Advantage

Night owls can work without interruptions, what with the world sleeping. In my case, there are no vehicles passing by on the street. No neighbors playing loud music. No more chores to tackle. I can be lost in my world and churn out books, blogs, and craft products to my heart's desire. 

The world's "rush hour" is not my rush hour, and it doesn't have to be yours, too. I can rest or relax while the world is starting to work. I can wind down the same time they wind down. And I can work in peace when the world is asleep. 

In those sacred hours, I’m not just productive — I’m untouchable, cocooned in focus and creative power.

Designing Your Own Clock

If you're a night owl, don't believe that you're unhealthy or that you're failing. You can still live a healthy, soft, luxurious life. Build a routine that works with your chronotype, not against it. 

Take a hard long look at your daily routine. What can you get rid of or outsource? What can you push back to the weekends or to other hours of the day or night? 

Soft life is about gentleness with yourself — your schedule should be part of that. Gentleness is a form of quiet rebellion in a world obsessed with urgency.

This is what I call asynchronous living: moving at the pace that works for you, not the one dictated by society’s alarm clock.

The truth is, your body has its own wisdom. It doesn’t need a productivity guru’s timetable or a one-size-fits-all health tip to function at its best. It needs you — present, listening, and willing to honor what it’s asking for.

The truth is, your body has its own wisdom. It doesn’t need a productivity guru’s timetable or a one-size-fits-all health rule to thrive. It needs you — tuned in, unapologetic, and willing to honor what it’s asking for.

So rest when you need to. Rise when you’re ready. Let the world race on its clock while you move to yours. Because the beauty of asynchronous living is this: when you stop forcing yourself into someone else’s rhythm, life starts fitting you instead.

And in that space — rested, ready, and glowing — you’ll discover that you’re not “behind” at all. You’re simply on your own exquisite schedule… and that’s exactly where your magic lives.