Glow by Lady E

  I have a habit of trying to fix things. If I’m uncomfortable, I want to know why. If I’m disappointed, I start thinking about what I should do differently. If I’m uncertain, my brain starts building plans. And if I’m sad, angry or lonely, some part of me immediately wants to turn that feeling into a problem I can solve. Maybe it comes from being used to handling things. I’m very good at asking, Okay, what do I do now? Usually, that’s useful. But lately, I’ve been wondering if I ask that question too quickly. Because sometimes I’m sad because something made me sad. Sometimes I’m disappointed because I hoped for something and it didn’t happen. Sometimes I’m angry because something hurt me. Sometimes I’m lonely. Sometimes I simply don’t know what happens next. And maybe I don’t need to immediately turn any of those things into a project. I don’t need a five-step plan for every uncomfortable emotion. I don’t need to find the lesson while I’m still living through the experience. I don...

  I have a habit of trying to solve my entire life in one sitting. It usually starts innocently enough. I’ll sit down because there’s one thing bothering me. Maybe it’s work. Money. Something at home. Something I want to make. Something I haven’t finished. Something about myself that I think I should already understand. So I start thinking. And then I think about the thing connected to that thing. And the thing that might happen three months from now because of that thing. And while I’m there, perhaps I should also figure out what I’m doing for the rest of the year. Very efficient. Except it isn’t. Sometimes I’m already tired when I begin. That’s the strange part. I can be overwhelmed, underslept, emotionally wrung out, with too many things already competing for space in my head, and some part of me will still decide that this is an excellent time to develop a comprehensive strategy for my entire existence. I think I do it because figuring things out makes me feel safer. (And also...