Glow by Lady E

  I have a habit of trying to fix things. If I’m uncomfortable, I want to know why. If I’m disappointed, I start thinking about what I should do differently. If I’m uncertain, my brain starts building plans. And if I’m sad, angry or lonely, some part of me immediately wants to turn that feeling into a problem I can solve. Maybe it comes from being used to handling things. I’m very good at asking, Okay, what do I do now? Usually, that’s useful. But lately, I’ve been wondering if I ask that question too quickly. Because sometimes I’m sad because something made me sad. Sometimes I’m disappointed because I hoped for something and it didn’t happen. Sometimes I’m angry because something hurt me. Sometimes I’m lonely. Sometimes I simply don’t know what happens next. And maybe I don’t need to immediately turn any of those things into a project. I don’t need a five-step plan for every uncomfortable emotion. I don’t need to find the lesson while I’m still living through the experience. I don...

My son practicing gentle healing with his plushies by sleeping as much as he wants.  And can we take a moment to appreciate our shark, Maxie’s pose? It’s like he’s posing for GQ - Shark Edition. I didn’t pose him. I found him like this that’s why I took the photo.  Healing is not another deadline. We are so used to measuring progress that we try to measure healing, too. How many days has it been? Shouldn’t I feel better by now? Why am I still tired? Why can’t I do what I used to do? At some point, even healing becomes another task we think we are failing to complete on time. But perhaps healing was never meant to work that way. I have a habit of turning everything into a project. There is always something to finish, something to improve, something I should already be better at. Apparently, I do this with healing, too. I noticed it recently because I kept thinking about when I would be back to normal . When would I have my old energy again? When would I stop needing so ...

  S ometimes, the heaviness feels too much to carry.  And I need to escape.  Escape without leaving.