I thought I was just tired.
Not the kind that sleep fixes.
The kind that sits quietly in your body… heavy, dull, and constant.
I tried to ignore it at first.
Told myself I just needed to push through, finish a few things, get moving.
But the feeling didn’t lift.
It stayed.
It took me a while to realize that it wasn’t exhaustion.
It was accumulation.
Small things.
Unfinished thoughts.
Things I said I’d do but didn’t write down.
Conversations that didn’t quite close.
Ideas that stayed in my head instead of somewhere I could see them.
Nothing big on its own.
But all of it… still open.
My brain doesn’t always close things on her own.
She keeps them running in the background—quietly, persistently—like apps you forgot were there.
And when you don’t notice them, they build.
Not loudly.
Just enough to make everything feel heavier than it should.
And when you add a sensitive system into that—
ADHD, heat, overstimulation, histamine, too much input all at once—
everything stacks faster.
What should have been manageable starts to feel like too much… without a clear reason why.
That was the part I didn’t see.
I have days when I cook breakfast and do a few chores and I’m depleted.
I thought I needed more energy.
More discipline.
More focus.
But what I actually needed…
was to notice what was already running.
How I Close My Tabs
I’ve only realized what’s going on last week when a good friend pointed it out.
So, we worked on ways on how I can gently close my tabs without disrupting my rhythm.
When you’re ADHD, it’s hard to keep open loops and even harder to force close them without finishing them.
Here are a few things I do to gently close tabs.
Drink icy water
I always have a jug of icy water at my workstation. Aside from keeping my histamines and nervous system calm, drinking makes me feel like I’m resetting everything. Like a new slate, without annoying my brain.
Do you know the feeling when you drink something warm and you go, “aaaahhh” as the warmth spreads throughout your body?
That’s the feeling I get when I drink very cold icy water. My whole system exhales and relaxes. I cannot drink warm beverages. They make me dizzy. I’m heat sensitive. Very sensitive.
Spray Evian All Over
If drinking is not enough, I take my Evian spray and spray it on my face, my neck, nape, and limbs. It’s like splashing water on your face, but more controlled.
By the way, splashing water on my face also helps close some tabs that aren’t too important, but lingering.
Basically, when my body feels cool, I relax.
Spa Day
Weekends are the best time for me to have a spa day. I go all out for my hair and body.
After that, I feel so clean, fresh, and energized. Ready for some well-earned weekend rest, shopping, or to tackle more work.
Body scrubs feel like a whole body reset to me. All apps closed.
Something sweet
When I’m in a rut or overwhelmed by all the many tabs in my head, I stand up, walk around and grab something sweet. Bonus points if it’s sweet and cold.
I don’t have a sweet tooth, but I love chocolate, so I normally get a small piece to recenter and close a few tabs in my head that are not urgent.
The sugar rush helps a bit to get motivated again, too! 😊
Journal
When things get too heavy and I’m stuck in planning paralysis, I write. I get my journal and just write whatever is bothering me, whatever is heavy, whatever is nagging.
Sometimes the ideas are a jumbled mess in my head, so I need to write them down to get a clear picture.
But I don’t always write from overwhelm. I also write when I’m happy and overflowing.
Art
My art is both my escape and release. It allows me to just be in the moment. No thinking. Just create with my hands or paint.
It also allows me to replay things in my head, to analyze and think things through. While my hands are busy, my mind is slowly deciding which apps need to be closed.
I’ve had many days like these when I was exhausted, unmotivated, and lacking creativity. I just didn’t have the juju to do anything. I thought I was being lazy. I thought it’s the ADHD.
Turns out, my body was running so many background apps that it was affecting me mentally, physically, and emotionally.
But now that I know this, I will not feel guilty for not being productive anymore. I will honor my energy and how my mind works.
I’m not lazy. I’m built different.
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'Til my next post,
Stay soft. Stay strong. Stay Glowing.
LET'S GLOW.
With elegance and quiet fire,
Lady E
Exhibitor and speaker at the Philippine Book Festival 2026
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