The Lipstick That Marked My Comeback

 

For years, I couldn’t wear makeup.

Not because I didn’t want to—but because I physically couldn’t.

I went from chronic idiopathic urticaria to painful, huge cystic acne, and now I’m managing rosacea, MCAS, and histamine sensitivity. All side effects of years of medication from a wrong diagnosis. My skin became a battleground. It flared at everything—stress, heat, products, even food. So I stopped.

I stopped wearing makeup.

I stopped showing up on camera.

And, in many ways, I stopped showing up for myself. I showed up for my son, my family, for other people. But forgot about myself.

Why I Stopped Caring About Beauty (And Why That Wasn't Me)

I used to know every new release. I used to swatch lipsticks in-store like it was a sacred ritual. But when your face burns at the mere touch of a product, beauty becomes the enemy.

At first my reason was I was a new mom and my son came first...in everything. So, I started alloting all my time, all my money, energy, resources to this tiny human. I thought I was being a good mom. But to be a good mom, we have to be full. We have to start with a full cup in order to give. 

I didn't just empty my cup. I tossed it in the sink and forgot about it...for years. 

I didn't just lose interest in makeup and fashion and all those beautiful things that gave me joy once upon a time. I'm not talking about materialistic joy. I'm talking about things that made me feel beautiful, confident, and radiant. Things that allowed me to meet new people, learn new things. I met and was personally mentored by Kai Vinson when he was still with Bobbi Brown. My love for beauty and fashion opened a lot of doors for me. I was Clinique and Bobbi Brown's first blogger here. Clinique even threw me a birthday party!  I was very active in the beauty scene back then and have helped a lot of girls with their makeup and beauty issues, and guided them through navigating different skincare products and makeup. 

When I became a mom, I lost access. I lost trust. And worst of all, I lost the joy. It's like I turned my back entirely on this world and closed the door. 

But deep inside, I still remembered. Beauty is not just external. It was part of how I expressed myself.

Makeup as Armor and as Celebration

Sometimes, makeup feels like armor—necessary to face the world.

The shift came when I started teaching online —serving the families in the Facebook homeschool community I built, Homeschool Resources Philippines, now 3,000 strong and counting. The kids' faces lit up when I smiled. I wanted to give that light back, but it must come from a place of joy. How will I smile with my face feeling hot and stinging? When I was embarrassed to face the world because of all these redness and rashes on my face? 

In order to be presentable, I had to apply makeup to cover up all the redness and the rashes. Makeup became my armor. But I had run out of lipstick, and it's the most important piece because the kids will be looking at my mouth as I speak. So, I texted my Clinique friend and she gave me Plum Pop. I didn't even ask to see the shade. I had lost all interest in makeup because of what's been happening to my skin for years. I said go and had it picked up by Grab. I trust her. She's known me for years and knows what's flattering on me.

So, I got the lipstick and the day of my first online class came. 

When I swiped on this lipstick, something in me remembered.

It remembered how it felt to love beauty.

The wonder of studying makeup artistry in my 20s.

To feel joy—not from looking perfect—but from creating, expressing, glowing.

It lit a spark.

Other times, makeup is for celebration—of color, of creativity, of life. And that's exactly how I felt that first time I swiped it on my lips. 

That day, Clinique Plum Pop was both armor and a celebration. It covered, yes. But it also reminded. It whispered: “You still love this. You still glow.”

Skin Acceptance and Supportive Products

Healing isn't just about clearing the skin. It's about listening to it.

About choosing products that love you back.

That’s what Clinique has always been for me—a gentle friend in a harsh world.

This lipstick doesn’t sting. It doesn’t dry out my lips. It doesn’t make me worry. That alone is worth every peso.

Why Clinique and not MAC or another brand?

Clinique has always been there for me—from my 20s until now in my 40s.  My skin knows it, so I thought maybe she'll accept it. I wasn't wrong. Clinique's products are dermatologist-tested and hypoallergenic. I interviewed a long-time client of theirs years ago and she said that those two reasons made her loyal to the brand. Back then, I didn't put much thought about those reasons. But now that I'm healing, I understand how important those are. 

Another reason I am loyal to the brand is, as I mentioned,  I am Clinique's first blogger here in the Philippines, not because they paid me or sponsored me like brands do nowadays. This was in 2009! "Influencer" wasn't a term yet. I blogged about Clinique because I genuinely believed in their products. I bought products with my own money. (I still do, by the way. All the new products you've been seeing from when I started blogging again in June, up to this point are not sponsored. I'll be sure to tell you if it's sponsored, though.)  

🖼️ Reflection

 The “before” me was hiding. The “after” me is healing.

Not fully healed yet—but showing up anyway.

That day when I looked at the mirror wearing Plum Pop, I smiled because I recognized the woman looking back. And I knew that was the start of me coming out of my shell. 

Glow Girls, if you’re reading this in pajamas, nursing a baby, hiding a breakout, feeling forgotten—

Know this: You haven’t lost yourself.

She’s still there.

Sometimes, all it takes is a swipe of a lipstick.

Or a blog post like this to remind you:

You're worth showing up for.

Look how much I loved it! Stay tuned for a hack I'm gonna feature to make the most of your well-loved lipsticks! 

That little lipstick?

It helped me show up again—for my students, my family, and most importantly,  myself.

This is why I call it my comeback color.

To my fellow Glow Girls navigating healing, sensitivity, motherhood, or rediscovery—

May you find the small spark that brings you back to yourself.

You’re still beautiful. You’re still you. Just wiser, deeper, and softer now.

This is a photo taken from one of those many, many online classes with me wearing Clinique Plum Pop. I'm so happy with it that I made it my profile photo.