Glow by Lady E

  I have a habit of trying to fix things. If I’m uncomfortable, I want to know why. If I’m disappointed, I start thinking about what I should do differently. If I’m uncertain, my brain starts building plans. And if I’m sad, angry or lonely, some part of me immediately wants to turn that feeling into a problem I can solve. Maybe it comes from being used to handling things. I’m very good at asking, Okay, what do I do now? Usually, that’s useful. But lately, I’ve been wondering if I ask that question too quickly. Because sometimes I’m sad because something made me sad. Sometimes I’m disappointed because I hoped for something and it didn’t happen. Sometimes I’m angry because something hurt me. Sometimes I’m lonely. Sometimes I simply don’t know what happens next. And maybe I don’t need to immediately turn any of those things into a project. I don’t need a five-step plan for every uncomfortable emotion. I don’t need to find the lesson while I’m still living through the experience. I don...

  I have a habit of trying to solve my entire life in one sitting. It usually starts innocently enough. I’ll sit down because there’s one thing bothering me. Maybe it’s work. Money. Something at home. Something I want to make. Something I haven’t finished. Something about myself that I think I should already understand. So I start thinking. And then I think about the thing connected to that thing. And the thing that might happen three months from now because of that thing. And while I’m there, perhaps I should also figure out what I’m doing for the rest of the year. Very efficient. Except it isn’t. Sometimes I’m already tired when I begin. That’s the strange part. I can be overwhelmed, underslept, emotionally wrung out, with too many things already competing for space in my head, and some part of me will still decide that this is an excellent time to develop a comprehensive strategy for my entire existence. I think I do it because figuring things out makes me feel safer. (And also...

My son practicing gentle healing with his plushies by sleeping as much as he wants.  And can we take a moment to appreciate our shark, Maxie’s pose? It’s like he’s posing for GQ - Shark Edition. I didn’t pose him. I found him like this that’s why I took the photo.  Healing is not another deadline. We are so used to measuring progress that we try to measure healing, too. How many days has it been? Shouldn’t I feel better by now? Why am I still tired? Why can’t I do what I used to do? At some point, even healing becomes another task we think we are failing to complete on time. But perhaps healing was never meant to work that way. I have a habit of turning everything into a project. There is always something to finish, something to improve, something I should already be better at. Apparently, I do this with healing, too. I noticed it recently because I kept thinking about when I would be back to normal . When would I have my old energy again? When would I stop needing so ...