There’s a specific kind of disrespect that doesn’t shout.
It hums.
It looks like delayed replies. Half-acknowledgments. Being convenient until you’re not. Lack of basic respect and decency. Treating you like it’s your privilege and honor to do something nice for them.
Like you’re there… but not seen.
So I stopped reacting.
And started moving…
1. I returned to myself
First thing I did was to ground myself. Be in the now.
I inhaled for 4. Held for 2. And exhaled for 6.
Then I went to the next best thing that calms me down- water. Cold water.
After drinking some ice water, I went down to wash my face and remove the day.
As I watched the water drain, so did some of the negative energy I got from the people around me today.
2. I managed my home
Of course those things are not enough when you’ve had a really annoying, upsetting night.
So, I channeled some of that anger into doing chores.
And now we have zero unclean underwear and red articles of clothing. 😏 And that’s 2 tasks off my list tomorrow.
3. I created space where there was none
The biggest issue tonight was space. It was a simple thing to solve.
But there was friction…where there shouldn’t be.
So I stopped. Took a breather and did some mental Tetris to figure out where things would go.
And in no time, there was space.
Plus, I decluttered and figured out how to save on our garbage bag expenses during the process. Score! 😁
4. I cooked
Now, I have this rule to never cook when I’m angry or upset or feeling any negative vibes. I feel like they get transferred to the food and in turn get transferred to the people who will eat them.
So, I chose to do this when I only had some residual negative vibes left.
Plus I only cooked rice and placed chicken in the oven. That’s it. I didn’t have a lot of time handling the food.
5. I chose beauty anyway
We had some pampering today - salon and shopping.
I have plenty of shopping bags today and opened the first one I could reach and just inhaled the scent and relieved the memory of my conversation with my good friend who recommended these today.
Beautiful things always lighten up my mood.
6. I listened to music.
Need I say more? Music is a big part of our lives.
It lives in our blood.
One of my grandfathers was a famous Filipino composer. My other grandfather was a choir tenor and played the guitar. My mom sang in the choir, too. I played the melodica in grade school and studied some piano. My son has been playing the piano since 6 years old. He composes and arranges, too.
But even if it doesn’t, I believe music is a very healing medium for everyone.
7. I wrote and returned to myself. Fully.
So here I am now, music in my ear, writing and having a conversation with a very good, very loving friend, with no residual negative energy from the people who treated me like background noise today.
Because when people reduce me to background noise…
I don’t get louder.
I get clearer.
And suddenly…
I’m no longer available for those who only listen when it’s convenient.
---
Lady E
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